The joke of the day
by kitsune flamme
Summary: Zelos goes around pulling pranks on everyone in then end, we'll see who gets the last laugh, at it seems he won't be the one doing the laughing.


The sun had just risen that a pitch scream was heard in the inn.

-Zelos! You pervert! I'm going to kill you!

Shouted the voice of a young lady. Said one ran out of the room with a smile floating on his lips. At least, until he tripped on the very first step of the stairway and rolled all the way down, landing with his butt nearly over his head and his nose smashed against the floor. He hurriedly got up and ran outside as fast as he could at the moment an angered Sheena arrived up the stairs with only a towel around her still damped body.

Once far enough, the redhead stopped to catch his breath, still smiling like the idiot he was, but without noticing the presence behind him, nearly having a heart attack when a voice spoke to him.

-What did you do this time? I heard Sheena shouting from over here.

Relying on the voice, the Chosen guessed it was Presea. Such a calm tone of voice could only belong to the small axe wilder, and his intuition was telling him. Years of practice of telling apart his many "lovelies" had taught him to distinguish them by either their voice or perfume. He turned around and saw with satisfaction that he was right. The pink pigtailed girl stared at him curiously, still waiting the answer to her question.

-Oh, the usual. Just making sure she wasn't missing anything.

The girl looked at him puzzled.

-So why was she yelling?

-Hm, maybe it's because she was in the shower? He replied, smiling even more.

The young girl suddenly glared at him, losing at the same times the curiosity in her look, which turned into disdain.

-You really are disgusting... She turned around and left.

He watched her as she went, shrugged and rubbed his hands together with a malicious look.

-Now, for the next part.

The day was far from a restful one. The members of the group spent their day running after the prankster who at one moment, put tomatoes into Kratos' meal, then called Genis a brat again, followed by sticking a paper with "hit me" written on it in Regal's back to finish with hiding Lloyd's precious swords under a floor tile.

He walked outside and sat under a window where some light came out. The redhead seemed to be checking things on some sort of list;

-Attempt to see Sheena in the shower : x

-Put tomatoes in Kratos' meal : x

-Annoy the brat : x

-Annoy Regal : x

-Annoy Lloyd : x

-See Raine change clothes : to do

At the moment he was taking a second look at his list, he heard voices coming from the room behind him.

-Are you sure it's a good idea? And what if someone came in at the wrong moment? Asked a slightly worried, feminine voice.

- Yes, I'm sure. We never get an occasion to be alone and you cannot deny this is the best moment. We have the occasion to be alone, only you and me, for once.

Replied the voice of a man on a tone, which in Zelos' mind, sounded a little too sensual for a simple discussion.

-And what if that idiot of Zelos came? I caught him peeking by my window a few times already...

-It's very simple: I kill him if I see him.

-You always know how to convince me.

You could easily guess the person of the feminine gender didn't oppose the proposition at all. If his calculations were right, this was Raine's room... He had to know for himself.

He was about to move when he heard the female voice give a pained moan. Zelos waited for a few seconds, then turned around to face the window and silently got up to peek inside. The feminine voice indeed belonged to Raine while the second voice belonged to.... Kratos?! What the heck could he be doing there? And so late at night..?

The chosen noticed that the half-elf didn't have her orange coat anymore, but only the white top she wore under. And again... It was raised rather high. In fact, a little more and Zelos would've had the pleasure to see what he first had came to spy for. Kratos' back was facing him. He was leaning toward Raine and seemed to be applying something. She was biting her lip but still groaned every time he seemed to touch a precise point where she didn't have her shirt anymore.

The Chosen also bit his lip so he wouldn't make a sound and reveal his presence or he could already consider himself as dead. He crouched to hide at the moment the half-elf looked in his direction.

-Raine, are you alright? Asked the voice of the mercenary.

-Yes. I just thought I saw something outsi- Ah!...

-Stop moving. Otherwise, it's normal it's painful, and I won't be able to disinfect the wound correctly. That monster really didn't miss you. A little more and you could've died. What were you thinking? Going out in the fields without warning anyone? Consider yourself lucky that Noishe found your trail or who knows what could've happened next. And to think you're the one always telling the boys not to venture out on their own.

-...

Now that explained everything. Kratos was actually taking care of a wound that a monster had inflicted to Raine. She didn't seem wounded earlier today though... He then thought he probably should go before he would be caught under their window. While he was thinking, he didn't notice the sudden silence, neither the approaching footsteps.

-And shall I know the reason of this little nocturne visit?

For the second time today, Zelos nearly had a heart attack. He looked up and saw Kratos, who didn't seem quite pleased to see _him_ there.

-I... erm... Later!

The redhead ran as fast as he could but heard the redhead say something that sounded strangely like "fire". He had the answer to his mental question when three fire balls came roasting his rear.

-Ow! It's buuuurns!

He disappeared in the distance and Kratos went back to his patient.

-You were right. He really was there.

-When I told you he'd be spying...

-But now, he's not there anymore, right?

-Right.

-And you know what I'm thinking about? He asked with a softer voice and an accompliced smile. She couldn't help but smile back.

-Take care of that "wound" first and then we'll see?

Kratos didn't need to be told twice and leaned where he had earlier faked disinfecting a wound and dropped a light kiss on the soft skin, while passing his arms around her slim waist.

-Finally, it's only you and me. He coaxed, raising his body a little to talk in her ear.

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him. Since she was sitting on the bed, she let herself fall back on the soft surface, dragging the loving mercenary with her. The night seemed very promising for them, as well as the rest of the group who, with the exception of a certain idiot with their butt on fire, were fast asleep. Kratos had the whole night to make sure she was in perfect shape, and vice-versa.

The next morning, they left the room at the same time to sit around the table, with the company of their friends. A certain Chosen glared at Kratos while keeping a bag of ice under his butt, which still burned. Everyone, except the three concerned ones, were wondering why he was doing this but trusting his everyday's stupid acts, they'd rather not know. It probably was another failed prank. Last time he had ended up sitting on ice, he had fallen on the embers of the recently put-out camp fire. With him around, you really could expect everything...


End file.
